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I’m a master resiliency trainer. I can picture you reading this and saying, “so,” while shrugging your shoulders. Let me explain. In 2007, some smart teachers taught me how to teach others about resiliency and apply the skills to my life.

There’s a misconception that one is born with resiliency or not; that we cannot learn it. That is a wrong assumption, we can learn it, like any other skill.

A few years ago, I was listening to the audiobook Grit by Angela Duckworth and it said that consistency wins over talent, every.single.time. This is my leeway into telling you that if you stick with it, even if you weren’t born into the toughest neighborhoods and beat incredible odds at a young age, you can still learn to be resilient.

First, let me explain what resiliency is not. Someone resilient is not always happy, cheesy, dizzy person. I have those moments, and so do you, but that is not a 24/7 status. You find that resilient people are those who allow themselves to feel the emotions and accept them, but don’t linger on counterproductive thoughts or actions. Learn that word counterproductive because what is negative and positive is subjective and changes from person to person. Still, if something is counterproductive in your life, you know it is something that you do not want to keep doing because it is holding you back from reaching potential or goals.

Look at resiliency as a set of skills to practice regularly so that when the going gets tough, you get to work. I didn’t expect this pandemic to bring me into an anxiety fritz since I am an introvert at heart and have no problem staying indoors, reading, writing, and watching movies. I can also eat the same food for a month, but that’s another story. Nonetheless, I found my mind ruminating on things I cannot control, and it was making me panic. So you see, even though I have knowledge of these skills, I still panicked. It took me a few days to acknowledge them and work through them. I admit I have not been practicing the skills.

With this series, I hope to help you and myself, to flex that muscle so we can all be resilient together.

There are 14 skills in the program, and I will share with you what I know about them and throw in a few examples. For now, I want you to listen to your inner voice. Go through your day, listening in to what you tell yourself. Is it productive? Counterproductive? And why?

Everyone has an inner voice, sometimes more. And no, you are not crazy. Just listen to it.