Yesterday, I found myself in one of those conversations where we women tend to classify other women based on their looks. It’s a habit that’s all too common, and I must admit, I was a bit surprised by my own reaction. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about it afterward. What struck me was that I saw beauty differently from the others in the conversation.

I want to make it clear that I don’t typically judge people solely based on their looks. I have my moments of judgment, but they are infrequent and few. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because I’m getting older (and hopefully wiser), or maybe it’s because I’ve experienced how it feels when others do it to me. Perhaps it’s a combination of both, but whatever the reason, I’ve become increasingly uncomfortable with this kind of judgment.

For the most part, I tend to assess others based on their personality rather than their appearance. The woman whom others considered good-looking, in my eyes, wasn’t all that attractive. To me, her character overshadowed her physical appearance. I suppose if I had passed her on the street without knowing her, I might have thought she was pretty. However, having interacted with her, I couldn’t find her as beautiful anymore.

On the other hand, there was a girl whom others labeled as ugly or, let’s say, less pleasant looking. I genuinely thought she was a beautiful person, both inside and out. She was kind, courteous, and respectful, and these qualities made her radiate beauty in my eyes.

Needless to say, I was completely bewildered and taken aback by my own reaction. I had assumed that others shared my perspective, but this conversation revealed otherwise.

I must admit, I do notice physical attributes. Being a fitness enthusiast, I tend to unconsciously admire toned arms, defined shoulders, and impressive abs. It’s like an internal checklist. The opposite used to make me want to give out fitness and nutrition tips. But my own struggle with weight, and my body’s ability to evolve into something new with each passing year, has humbled me and enabled me to learn that weight doesn’t make someone healthy or beautiful and the bottom line is personality will always triumph over any physical appearance.

But the question still lingers: What is beauty, really? I recently came across a presentation on Facebook where scientists attempted to define the “perfect woman” based on symmetry and precise measurements between the eyes, nose, and mouth that are thought to attract others.

For me, beauty delves much deeper than mere physical attributes. To truly see beauty, I like to unzip the facade of outward appearance and peer inside. It’s the thoughts, beliefs, and values of a person that truly make them beautiful or, conversely, less appealing. A beautiful face can lose its charm once you hear someone’s ideas and thoughts. What lies within the mind and flows from the lips can swiftly alter my perception of someone. An “Ugly Duckling” who is kind and genuine becomes the most beautiful swan in the pond in my eyes.

So, in the end, beauty is a complex tapestry woven from the threads of character, kindness, and the essence of a person’s being.

XOXO

Johanny