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Here we are learning together.

This skill is called Real-Time Resilience because you are fighting in real-time with your counterproductive thoughts. I asked you yesterday to listen in to your inner voice because, most of the time, what it says is not friendly, and those thoughts can keep you from achieving your goals or potential.

Assuming you took notes. If not, you can always do so. What did the voice say? What was your reaction to it? Remember, you are observing, and acknowledging is there.

I remember when I was learning this skill; it showed a man and his voice in a boxing ring, fighting. In the first segment, the voice won because either the man believed the counterproductive thoughts or wasn’t able to push them back and eliminate them.

I’ll be honest with you, it’s tough to eliminate it, but with enough practice, you can punch it down to the ground and quiet it. With even more practice, you’ll be able to TKO.

I haven’t gotten to the TKO level.

There are three ways to ‘box’ against ‘the voice.’

Use evidence to prove it wrong.

• Counterproductive Voice: You will never be able to leave this house.
• Resilient You: That’s not true, because other countries that experienced the pandemic before us and showing a slowing down of the virus. I will do my part, stay home, and encourage others to do so. With time, we will slow it down and be able to socialize again.

I started with ‘that’s not true’ and then chose evidence to back it up. Sometimes our fears are irrational, and with a bit of digging through the right sources, we can prove that counterproductive voice wrong.

Look at the glass half full.

• Counterproductive Voice: You will never be able to leave this house.
• Resilient You: I’m choosing to stay to keep myself and others safe. I choose to use this time to self-develop, reach others digitally, and cherish what I have.

Put it through the realistic lens.

• Counterproductive Voice: You will never be able to leave this house.
• Resilient You: Actually, the most likely implication is that I will be home for two months till the virus slows down and things re-open.

I must caution you about some pitfalls you may encounter in your practice:

• Don’t minimize the situation. If you tell yourself, “One day we are going to wake up, and we will have zero virus infections, and I will walk out and hug everybody,” You are lying to yourself, and your brain will know. So if we are talking about boxing, it will be: Resilient You-0, Counterproductive Voice-1
• Don’t dismiss the truth. You can tell yourself. “It’s not true, I can go outside right now, and live a normal life.” You are dismissing the facts, that if you don’t stay home, you are putting yourself and others at risk of infection. Let’s tally this up: Resilient You-0, Counterproductive Voice-2
• Don’t rationalize or excuse your contribution to the problem. You can blame the government for the restrictions and say, “If only they would have reacted quicker, then we wouldn’t have to be stuck at home.” As much as we would like to blame this whole situation on the government officials, it won’t do anything to ease your mind and, most importantly, put down this counterproductive thought. So if you were keeping track, we are at Resilient You-0, Counterproductive Voice-3

This skill and the others we will discuss later require practice and conviction, so they may work. If you fall into any of the pitfalls is okay. Try again.

You can say your counterargument aloud — if it doesn’t raise any eyebrows — or you can think them. But what’s important is that you maintain a watchful ‘eye’ on your thoughts. That counterproductive voice sneaks in when you least expect it.