Back when I wrote my post titled “I’m the Latina Version of Taylor Swift”, I thought it was hilarious. At the time, it felt right to laugh at my dating struggles and my inability to “keep a guy,” and comparing myself to Taylor Swift—minus the singing, of course—seemed like a great way to express my frustration. But looking back on it now, I realize there was something more troubling hidden beneath my humor.

Blaming Myself and Taylor Swift for Failed Relationships

The truth is, back then, I had internalized a very common but very misogynistic thought—that if a relationship didn’t work out, it was somehow my fault. And what’s worse, I had projected that same judgment onto Taylor Swift. The idea that neither she nor I could “keep a man” fed into the tired narrative that women are somehow responsible for the success or failure of a relationship. As if we’re the ones who have to fix, nurture, and hold onto our partners, regardless of their behavior.

But let’s be honest, that’s not how relationships work. Two people are responsible for the health and longevity of a relationship. If things fall apart, it’s not because one person wasn’t “good enough” or didn’t try hard enough—it’s because the dynamic between two people didn’t work. Relationships are a shared experience, and it took me a while to fully realize that.

No More Patience for “Man-Children”

Another thing that’s changed since then? I’m no longer single, and boy, am I glad. Looking back on those days of dating, heartache, and trying to figure out men, I realize that I simply don’t have the patience for the drama that often comes with it. In particular, I don’t have the patience to deal with “man-children”—those guys who refuse to grow up, take responsibility for their actions, or handle their emotions like adults.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all men are difficult or emotionally immature, but the dating pool is often full of guys who haven’t figured out how to handle adult relationships. And that’s not my problem to fix. I’m in a much better place now, and the idea of trying to decode someone else’s issues, like I used to, feels exhausting. I’m grateful that chapter of my life is behind me.

Growth and Self-Worth

It’s funny how time and experience can change your perspective. I can look back on my post about being the “Latina version of Taylor Swift” and see how much I’ve grown. I no longer blame myself (or Taylor) for relationships that didn’t work out. I’ve learned that self-worth isn’t tied to whether or not a relationship succeeds, and that sometimes, letting go of something that isn’t working is the healthiest choice you can make.

So, here’s to growth, to understanding that relationships are a two-way street, and to never settling for anything less than mutual respect and emotional maturity. And hey, if Taylor Swift is still writing hits about love and heartache, then more power to her! She’s telling her story the way she knows best, and I’m over here telling mine—with a lot more love, laughter, and self-awareness.