There’s this thing I’ve carried with me my whole life—control.
It’s not always obvious. Sometimes it hides under words like discipline or structure. Sometimes it sounds noble: “I just like things done right.”

But if I’m being honest, most of my control has always come from fear.

The Comfort of Control

The military taught me that structure saves lives.
That being prepared, anticipating what could go wrong, and having a backup plan isn’t just smart—it’s survival.

And that mindset served me well for years.
In uniform, it’s discipline. Out of uniform, it’s the same instinct—just repurposed.

I ran my life, my writing, my projects, even my emotions, like a mission.
If I could keep every piece in line, maybe nothing would fall apart.

But creativity? Creativity doesn’t care about your checklists.

The Weekend That Broke Me (and My Printer)

Not too long ago, I spent a weekend knee-deep in The Ordinary Bruja preorder prep.
I had it all planned: bookmarks, character cards, manifestation inserts—the whole thing.
Everything labeled, color-coded, scheduled.

Then my website glitched.
The WooCommerce buttons disappeared, checkout froze, and no matter what I did, the plug-ins refused to cooperate.

I thought, Fine, I’ll focus on the design stuff instead.
So I opened Canva. Then Canva froze.

And when I finally switched to printing?
My printer decided it didn’t feel like aligning that day. My files were sliding half an inch to the left every time, and I swear I could hear it mocking me.

Hours later, surrounded by test prints, crumpled paper, and cold coffee, I heard myself mutter:
“I just need everything to go right for once.”

And that’s when it hit me—how many times I’ve said that exact same sentence in my life.

The truth? I was exhausted not because things went wrong, but because I kept trying to force them to go right.

When Control Pretends to Be Discipline

Here’s what I’ve learned:
Control and discipline look almost identical on the outside—but inside, they’re completely different.

• Discipline is about preparation.
• Control is about fear.

Discipline says, “I’m ready for whatever happens.”
Control says, “I can’t handle it if this doesn’t go my way.”

For a long time, I didn’t see the difference. I thought my tight grip was ambition. I thought my need to fix everything was leadership.

But the more I clung to outcomes, the more I drained the joy out of creating.

Letting Go to Let Life Work

That weekend, I finally stopped fighting it.
I took a step back, wrote down every problem, circled the ones I could control, and crossed out the ones I couldn’t.

Guess what?
Most of them fell into the second category.

So I closed the laptop, went for a walk, and trusted the process.
And slowly, everything started to work itself out—the site fixed, the files exported clean, and my designs came together better than before.

That’s when I realized that control isn’t clarity.
Sometimes the clearest moment is the one where you stop trying to force the outcome and simply allow it to unfold.

Salvador’s Lesson (and Mine)

This idea runs deep in The Ordinary Bruja.
Salvador—Marisol’s ancestor and villain—is the perfect embodiment of control gone wrong.
He wants to possess what should flow, to own what should breathe. And that’s what destroys him.

Marisol, on the other hand, learns that her power doesn’t respond to control—it responds to trust.
And that’s the truth I keep learning too.

When I let go, I create from joy again.
When I stop gripping every detail, magic finds me.

Because sometimes, you don’t need to make things happen—you just need to stop standing in their way.

The Takeaway

Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up. It means choosing trust over tension.
It’s saying, “I’ll do my best, and then I’ll let life do the rest.”

So the next time your plans fall apart, your printer rebels, or your timeline doesn’t match someone else’s, take a deep breath and remember:
You don’t need control to create something beautiful. You just need faith in what you’ve already built.

The Ordinary Bruja is officially out now!
Order your copy and step into a story about identity, magic, and the art of surrender.