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As someone who travels frequently for work, I’ve seen a variety of situations, from the mildly annoying to the utterly unbelievable. Thankfully, I haven’t encountered anything as egregious as some of the stories that circulate on social media, but it does make me wonder about the audacity of people when it comes to travel. There’s something about being in a confined space for hours with strangers that brings out some very strange behavior.

Take these examples, for instance: a woman who paid for a first-class seat was asked by a pregnant passenger to give it up because she was uncomfortable in the regular seating. Another story involved a woman who had purchased two seats for her own comfort, only to have a mother with a toddler assume her child could occupy one of those seats without permission.

These stories left me thinking about the boundaries of personal entitlement versus earned comfort, especially when it comes to traveling. While the pregnant woman and the mother with the toddler had their reasons for wanting a more comfortable experience, neither of them paid for it. They expected someone else to accommodate their self-imposed conditions—one being pregnant, the other traveling with a young child.

The Difference Between Empathy and Expectation

Now, I’m not heartless. I’ve been both a heavily pregnant traveler and a mom managing a toddler through the stress of airports, layovers, and long flights. I get it. I know how physically and emotionally draining it can be. But here’s where I stand: if you want the extra comfort, if you need those amenities, then you should plan for it and pay for it. It’s really that simple. If I can’t afford the upgrade, I find ways to manage within my means, whether that means saving up for it or dealing with the discomfort. What I don’t do is expect someone else to sacrifice what they’ve earned for my convenience.

There’s a line between hoping for kindness from a fellow traveler and expecting them to meet your needs simply because you’re in a more challenging situation. And that’s where these examples get tricky.

Why Paying for Comfort Matters

When I think about these scenarios, I see them as part of a larger conversation about entitlement and personal responsibility. We all have different needs when traveling, but part of being an adult is planning ahead and being prepared to pay for the things that make your journey easier. Yes, it would be wonderful if every flight was comfortable for everyone, but that’s just not how it works. The person who paid for that first-class seat earned it. The person who booked two seats for their own space paid for that right.

To ask someone to give up what they’ve paid for, simply because you feel you deserve it more in that moment, feels like an overstep. And while I understand the empathy and kindness that some people might offer, it shouldn’t be expected. There’s a fine line between hoping for human decency and assuming someone else should fix your problem.

Empathy Doesn’t Mean Giving Up Your Boundaries

I’m a big believer in empathy, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of someone else’s comfort or boundaries. The woman in first class doesn’t owe anyone her seat just because another passenger is pregnant. The traveler who booked two seats for their own comfort doesn’t owe a mother a place for her toddler. If you want the amenities that come with travel, then it’s up to you to make those decisions when you book, not once you’re on the plane expecting others to accommodate you.

Traveling with challenges like pregnancy or kids requires planning. It’s tough, but it’s not someone else’s responsibility to fix. And that’s really the takeaway here—when you want comfort or upgrades, plan for them. Pay for them. Don’t rely on the sympathy or guilt of strangers to get what you want.

This is certainly a hot topic and it carries a whole lot more nuance than what I have here. So I want to hear from you what is your take? At what point do you think empathy overrides paid for amenities?