I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. The Latine culture I grew up in molded me to mirror my goals to others’ expectations of me. While I love coming from a culture that places a high value on community and family, this is one aspect I had to unlearn to grow. There was something about my thirties, and seeing the looming horizon of middle age gave me a pause. Within that pause, I questioned so many things.

I began to question whether my path was truly aligned with my desires and aspirations or if I was simply following a script that was written for me by others. This questioning began what I now understand to be a journey towards personal liberation. This blog post explores the journey of letting go of other people’s expectations and embracing a path that aligns with our true passions and aspirations.

The Awakening

In our thirties, many of us experience a turning point in our lives. I was no different. There is nothing like seeing middle life approaching and looking back at your choices that sobers you. At this time, I was chasing an ideal that didn’t fit my soul. I thought nursing school was my way out and ignored how squeamish I got over blood and bodily fluids. I forget how much I hold on to other people’s problems. I forget how much art revives me. But because my family had indirectly parentified me and I seemed well apt to take care of others, nursing was what my family assigned to me.

So when I did a trial run at a hospital and came back home exhausted physically and mentally, I knew this would not be sustainable for me. This was my awakening. This awakening may involve other realizations and experiences for some, but there’s a common thread to them all. The awakening involves an epiphany that hints at us to let us know we are headed in the wrong direction. We may not know what the right direction is, during my awkening I didn’t but I knew I was headed in the wrong direction. The awakening also begins a liberating journey toward self-discovery and personal fulfillment. It’s like that one chapter before Act II.

Letting Go of Others’ Expectations

One of the first steps towards personal liberation is letting go of the weight of others’ expectations. Letting go of the idea of nursing was scary. While deep inside, I knew this career was not for me. It had been like a blanket that kept me warm for quite some time. So, letting go of it was scary, to say the least. It can also be challenging for others at this stage because this step requires breaking free from societal norms, cultural pressures, and the fear of judgment. As humans, we want to be loved and be part of a group, so consciously prioritizing our happiness and wellness can make us feel selfish and as if we went on a self-imposed exile. Still, we create space for personal growth and fulfillment once we accept it.

Shifting Focus to Happiness and Wellness

Once we let go of the burden of others’ expectations, we can focus on our happiness and wellness. This involves identifying our true passions, interests, and aspirations. This came from a quiz I took after reading someone’s Instagram post. The post asked the reader to post a continuous ‘why’ to themselves as they figure out what they want to do with their lives. When I felt the sting of tears and my throat began to close in when I envisioned a BIPOC child reading one of my books, a flashlight flashing on the page, a smile spreading across their lips, knowing they found solace in the words there, I knew I have honed in my calling.

I knew after that day that my happiness resides in publishing and advocating for diverse stories from diverse authors to build connections and visibility for young readers. This knowledge helped me to look at what I was doing with a different mindset. This shift enabled me to align my actions with my calling.

Taking Action

With a renewed sense of purpose and clarity, the next step was taking action. This may involve setting goals, creating a plan, and actively pursuing tasks and projects that align with our passions and aspirations. My first steps were a bit chaotic. I equate it to a clumsy baby taking their first steps. I tried a lot of things. Wrote some good pieces and some crappy ones. Figured out Wattpad and wrote there. I had a terrible experience at a writers’ conference and shifted again.

That bad experience pushed me to certify my skills through a degree, and this was the best decision I made besides getting an LLC. For those two years, I communed with like-minded individuals and professors who pushed me to understand and expand my writing craft. This experience gave me so much life, and from the thesis required to gain a degree, I wrote Mrs. Franchy’s Evil Ring.

Things snowballed from there. I continued to take consistent steps toward my calling. I went on to create Have a Cup of Johanny LLC, publish three works, create the Have a Cup of Johanny podcast, and revamp my withering website. While all of this was time-intensive, the joy that surged through me after bringing these things to life recharged me.

Embracing the Results

The journey towards personal liberation is not without challenges, but the rewards are immeasurable. By embracing my true passions and prioritizing my happiness and wellness, I created a fulfilling life. The joy of seeing my work published, the satisfaction of running a successful business, and the fulfillment of sharing creative endeavors through various mediums are just some of the rewards that came from embracing my personal liberation.

Reflecting on this journey, it’s clear that the path to personal liberation doesn’t follow a straight line. It’s a winding road filled with detours, roadblocks, and sometimes even a few U-turns. But every step, every stumble, and every leap of faith has brought me closer to understanding and accepting myself. This is the essence of personal liberation, and it’s available to those willing to take the journey.

Conclusion

Choosing personal happiness and wellness over others’ expectations is a powerful act of self-love and self-discovery. It requires courage, resilience, and a willingness to let go of societal pressures. The journey toward personal liberation may be gradual, but it is a transformative process that enables us to live a life aligned with our true selves. By following the steps above in a way that works for you, we can find the freedom to pursue our passions, achieve our goals, and create a life that brings us joy and fulfillment.