What you’re about to read illustrates the voice that goes inside my head and, if I let it, keeps me from doing the things that I want to do. It has taken many years of self-work to understand that this voice is not me and does not control me.

Recently, I had to make myself do a Peloton ride because I wasn’t feeling it at all. The urge to just not do anything and throw the covers over my head was really high. One thing I do to avoid a downward spiral, which usually happens, is to tell myself to do just one thing. That one thing was to clean one toilet. I cleaned it, and something about the motion of doing that, combined with a YouTube video of thrifters reselling on eBay and Etsy playing in the background, gave me enough oomph to clean the next toilet.

I thought, “Why not do the next toilet?” I have three toilets, so I went ahead and did them all. Then I thought, “Well, if you’ve done the toilets, you might as well do the sinks and bathtubs.” I almost took it too far with the bathtubs but decided to just do the sinks for now.

After finishing the sinks, I thought, “Well, that wasn’t so bad. I’m not tired.” The voice came back, suggesting I do the bathtubs too. Initially, I resisted because my back hurts when I clean bathtubs. But the voice reminded me of the automatic scrubber I have, which makes it easier. I decided to give it a try, and before I knew it, I had cleaned both bathtubs.

Next, the voice reminded me of the dishes I had put off from the previous night. But first, I had to take my vitamins, drink my coffee, and relax for a bit. I earned it after all that cleaning. After enjoying the best coffee in the world (the one I made at home), I debated whether to fill up the coffee pod drawer. The voice nudged me to do it now while I had the energy, so I did.

With the coffee pod drawer filled, I still needed to do the dishes and deal with the laundry. I hate folding laundry, but I told myself to finish my coffee first. Then I grabbed the comforters from the dryer, took them upstairs, changed into my workout attire, and came back down to do the dishes.

Finally, I rewarded myself with a bike ride on the Peloton. I didn’t want to do it at first, but I reminded myself that I always feel good afterward. Plus, I could do an “at your own pace” workout, which made it less daunting.

Not every day is like this. Some days are easier because the hustle and bustle of personal and professional tasks keep me in line. On other days, the inner voice is louder, and I don’t feel like doing anything. On those days, I manage the voice through kind and assertive self-talk to accomplish my goals.

I also give myself permission to lie down and cry if needed. I check my schedule to ensure I’m not sabotaging anything important. I’ve become disciplined in my sadness, setting aside time for it because I believe tears are a healing balm for the soul.

If this sounds like you, I suggest journaling. Be vulnerable and honest with yourself. Identify the core emotions, not just the superficial ones. Often, anger is a cover for deeper emotions like fear, embarrassment, shame, or guilt. Acknowledge these core emotions to truly deal with them.

Remember, the voice inside your head does not control you. With self-discipline and kindness, you can manage it and accomplish the things you set out to do.

Does this resonate with your own experiences? How do you manage your inner voice?