Johanny
December 22, 2013

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How do you respond to “And why are you still single?”
After many question/answer situations with my male friends, I have come to the realization that I am still single because I am too independent. I am still single because I am too honest. I am still single because I am very loud. I am still single because I won’t settle.
I’ve been told that I need to allow the man to play the role of hero because that will make him feel like he is needed in my life. If I do everything on my own it will leave the guy with nothing. Yet I find myself wanting to do things for myself, to prove to myself that I still can. To not get comfortable depending on someone who could let me down. So I do and do some more things on my own. Then I am upfront and honest right front the start, often times having guys shaking their heads north and south vigorously. They agree with me! I think, but in the end I find out that the only one being honest was me 😞
I am loud because I like to be heard, I like to have fun, I like to be noticed. Some guys are not into that. So I CHOOSE to not settle until I find a guy who is not bothered or intimidated by my independence. Who chooses to complement my strengths with his own. Who knows that I need his company, love, respect, time and attention and not his bank, handy-man skills or mechanical skills. Who is not afraid to be honest and face life openly with me. Who does not mind my loud mouth because eventually he will need to meet my family and will realize that I am the quietest of them all. Lastly, one that will know that I didn’t need to settle, yet I chose him to be with me.

This is the first blog post that started my website

Let’s rewind the clocks back to December 2013, a time capsule moment right before I embraced my calling as a writer. #ThrowbackThursday today is not just about nostalgia; it’s about appreciating the journey from solitude to companionship, from venting on a blog to finding love and success in writing.

Back then, the question “And why are you still single?” used to echo in my ears. My blog became my solace, a place where I bared my soul without the fear of judgment. It was my raw, unedited voice responding to a society that couldn’t understand my brand of independence. Too independent, too honest, too loud, refusing to settle—this was the essence of my early posts.

I was battling the stereotype that a woman needs to tone down to find a partner. I spoke about not needing a man to play the hero, about demanding respect, love, time, and attention—not just handyman skills or a full wallet. It was my declaration that I would not soften my voice or shrink myself to fit into someone else’s comfort zone. This was the spark that ignited my writing flame.

Looking at that time from where I stand now, I see a narrative of growth. My blog, which began as an outlet for frustration, transformed into a platform that championed the strong, independent spirit. It chronicled my refusal to compromise on the big things in life—self-respect, joy, and honesty.

And now, years later, I celebrate not just finding love but also cultivating a love for myself that no relationship could overshadow. It’s amazing to see how far I’ve come, from those days of fiercely protecting my independence to embracing a partnership that complements it.

So here’s to the woman who was brave enough to be herself when the world questioned her. Here’s to the power of writing that not only documented my growth but catalyzed it. And here’s to all of you who’ve been with me since those days of solo blogging—it’s been a heck of a ride, and it only gets better from here.

Thank you so much for embracing me, supporting my special brand of quirk, and reading my writing. I encourage you to celebrate with me in this #ThrowbackThursday by reflecting on your own milestones. Where did you start, and how far have you come? Share your stories and celebrate your unapologetic self!

#WritingJourney #SingleLife #PersonalGrowth #FindingLove